What is Romantic Love and Have You Experienced it in Your Life?

In a world filled with movies like Bridget Jones and Sex and the City, romantic love is often seen as the Holy Grail. We watch women and men whose lives seem to revolve around falling in love, falling out of love and back in again. In truth this is not the case for most of us; there are many different types of love which are all deeply meaningful, and equally as important as romantic love. But this does present a problem - how do we know romantic love from the love we feel through friendship?

Romantic love means different things to different people. For most there is a strong element of physical attraction involved. The lust element of love is a defining factor for most people in their quest for romantic love. Many find that once the lust element of their relationship fades they begin to feel just a friendship with their partner/spouse. Often by this time it is too late, and people may settle for companionship with their partner rather than having true romantic love.

Have you ever heard of a 'spark'? Having a spark with someone may be the defining factor for romantic love. Do you feel a tingle when you're with that person? Do they excite you and entertain you? Most importantly, do they make you happy? Obviously, the initial rush of romantic love doesn't always last, but it is something which should be there initially.

Because falling and being in love is such an individual thing, it is impossible to give a totally accurate picture of what true love is. However, it should include at least some of the elements I have mentioned.

So how do you know if you have experience true romantic love? You may hear people say they 'just knew' when they met the person they fell in love with; but for others it takes time to fall in love. For some it is a gradual process, sometimes known as a 'slow burner', or it may be the quintessential 'love at first sight'. If you didn't fall head over heels for your partner the first time you laid eyes on each other, that doesn't mean that you aren't in love. Getting to know one another first and giving a relationship time to blossom can ultimately mean a deeper love than if you fall head over heels without knowing much about each other.

If you have, or had someone in your life who made you feel good about yourself, who made you happy and who made you feel excited the chances are you were or are in love with that person. And just because it ended doesn't mean that it wasn't love. To quote the great Edna St. Vincent Millay:

St. Vincent Millay:

'After all my erstwhile dear,

My no longer cherished;

Need we say it was not love,

Just because it perished?'

Love is not necessarily a permanent thing; but it has the ability to change us is ways that we never thought possible. If the object of your affections excites strong, positive emotions in you, then the chances are that romantic love is knocking on your door.

The Many Don'ts of a Relationship

To be able to stay in the relationship you are having right now, there are certain don'ts that you must take note of. By staying away from these don'ts, you will be able to maintain a harmonious and happy relationship with her. Here are some of the many don'ts of a relationship.

1. The ex-partner - Never should you dare compare your now girlfriend to any of your past girlfriends. It is a general rule. Doing so will definitely not avoid a big fight. Women are quite sensitive when it come to the topic of the "exes" so be sure to stay out of this. Anyhow, nobody wants to be compared to anyone, anyway.

2. Mother - Never ever make her feel like she is your mother. Don't make your girl get confused by treating her like your mother. Remember that it was mom who served breakfast and washed your filthy stuffs. Your girl is there for moral and emotional support. Be clear on that!

3. Never try to change her - She's really made to be like that. If you love her, don't change her. She's been like that even before you two met. Changing her into someone you call your ideal girlfriend will just complicate things. If she is really a pain in the butt, and you can't tolerate her tantrums, just get rid of her and find a new one. That is way easier than fighting everyday because of things you can't change.

4. Don't change unless you want to - Same with the latter, if she's not happy with the way you are, split. If she can't accept you now, she never will. She should've noticed that you are a pig on the first few days so, why suddenly change mind? Change should not be forced by anyone. It should be self inflicted.

5. Flirty -Your girl can smell blood even if you are miles away. Imagine the worst that could happen once you flirt in front of her. Death shall come to those persistent ones. Are you ready to face a painful death? Others say that you can only flirt when you are already an area code away or you will be history. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So when she asks you if the lady in red to your right is beautiful and if that lady is indeed super hot, lie. Be sure to mention that, that "ugly girl" is nothing compared to her.

6. Butt kisser - It's okay to give compliments once in a while. It's necessary to give compliments since she deserves them. Like too much drugs, over ass kissing is fatal too - for your ego for that matter. You need to stay strong in a subtle way. You need to wear the pants in the relationship. Never turn into a sniveling worm.

7. Broken promises - Yes. They say that promises are meant to be broken. Well buddy, it's time that you break this cliché. Don't promise anything that you can't do or not capable of doing. In relationships, your partner is like a kid. And you know how bad it is to not keep promises to a kid, right? You were a kid once. You know how it feels.

8. Friends are forever -Most men tend to forget about their friends whenever they are in a relationship. That is a no - no. Your friends are already there even before she appeared. There is no reason for your relationship with your friend to change just because she's with you. Plus who would be with you at the strip joint once she decided she no longer is happy with you? Yeah! Keep your buddies!

Dating Tips - How to Ask Him Out

You are in the 21st century. These days it is not anymore applicable to wait for the guy to ask you out. Though, I am not saying that it is something that women need not do. If you are willing to wait, it is okay. However, if the guy tends to be too slow for your pace, it won't harm you to come forward and do the first move. You can either wait all you want and might end up waiting for nothing or, you can step up, make yourself visible and invite him for a tall espresso.

Believe me. Asking a guy out is not as difficult as you think it is. And since I want to be your "answered prayer," I am going to share with you a couple of very simple ways of asking "him" out. If he is someone you already know, like a co-worker for an instance, you can just simply approach him at your break-time and casually invite him to have coffee or something like that. Just come over and say, "Hey! Let's have some coffee!"

As simple as that and you just asked a guy out! You don't need to explain why you asked him to join you. Just ask him. If he says yes, then you are the lucky girl for that day. However, if he says no, don't get depressed. Keep in mind that, you should not make a big deal out of his "No." There could be a couple of reasons why he declined. Besides, you asked him casually so, you should treat his "No." in a casual manner too. Remember that there is enough coffee in the world for the two of you to share and that there is always another day.

You can also start with a small talk. Let's say, during lunch on a Monday, you saw him eating in the cafeteria. "Casually" join his table. While eating together, you can "casually" ask him about his weekend. This is your way to know what he likes to do during his free time. Then, you can "casually" suggest something similar that the two of you can do together over the following weekend. Because he is interested in what you are offering, you have a bigger chance of getting a "yes." Imagine how fun would that be? You just booked yourself a date with your dream guy over lunch.

How about if you don't know who the guy is? You can do some flattering through words or flattering through beer. Let us say you are in a bar and you had your eyes over this guy at your 4 o'clock. You can either approach him and introduce yourself and tell him that he looks very gorgeous and you hope that he won't mind if you join him or, you can buy him a beer and as he looks your way, give him a very sweet smile. He will surely come over to say thank you. Then in your conversation, you can tell him how you are enjoying his company and you would really love it if he joins you over dinner the day after tomorrow.

Just keep your invitations casual. That way, you won't need to make a fuss about getting rejected since it won't come as something like a very big deal. Making your invitations casual will also avoid the possibility of scaring the guy because of a possible commitment. Remember that most men get jitters whenever they sense a possibility of getting into a commitment. Just ask him and don't explain. As for getting rejected, consider it as a job application. There are times that you get it and there are times that you don't.